Atown’s Place to Think

so yeah. emotions obviously play aq big role in our lives as we go about day to day life. We are happy, sad, joyful, depressed, excited, worried, enthralled, etc. As we look at it, it can seem as if they all existed as some abstract event that happens every minute and hour, yet it is in some ways chemically based. For today I would like to keep thinking of it in a abstract way and work through and create some kind of tangibility yet without the chemical base. In the end it may be clear that chemicals invoke things, however as I stated before, I do not want to get into that section today.

Emotions interest me because for no reason a person can be sad or happy. Other times people are happy or sad based on events, although at times choosing to be happy or sad in light of of an event. I can say for one thing, The presidential innaguration was not my favorite thing to watch and it left me irritated with the people around me that were over loud and obnoxious. However, Obama is the new president and I will pray for him greatly and that the Lord’s will be done. I had to choose throughout the day to be of good cheer and remember my joy comes from God and my salvation. Yet at times, for myself, life can be grand and I am rather mellow. 

To bring up another part of emotions, is what C.S. Lewish calls “Affection.” Affection as Lewis describes, is something not is not talked about in public and is like dirty luandry and only to be in the house, yet it is the basis for Friendship and Eros. In my opinion, Lewis describes emotions quite well and to add to it, I believe that Affection can swell in us more and in the case leading to Eros, consume our minds and lower emotions. To define lower emotions, I would liken them to those that are secondary or more easily swayed. Love is not swayed as easily as sadness or happiness, to give an example. So when I say Affection (and cases involving Eros) consumes our lower emotions, I mean to say that based on how the other person is acting or interacting with us, or how our mind is portraying the images of the relations, can make us happy, excited, sad or depressed. It makes me curious to think though, that as abstract things, one has to wonder where the origin of them truly is. What is the origin of the thing that can consume us?

As I look back at my friends who get into relationships, there usually is an Affection period that grows throughout a friendship. C.S. Lewis describes friendship as part of the four loves but makes a distinction that it is more based on common interest. Which brings up the question of how “opposites attract” which I wont digress into for the sake of time and lack of knowledge on my part. Even then, how does affection grow? Where does it come from? It can be easily stated that all things come from God who is in some ways the purest essence of it. If you ask a child, “what is love?” it has been found that at earlier ages they will use action words to describe parents doing things for one another to show “love,” e.g. they might say’ “love is a hug” or a cup of coffee. As the child matures he will begin to use more abstract words to describe inter-relational dynamics.  The Bible says this about it in 1 John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” and 1st Corintheans 13:4-8 “4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails…”  To me, all of this is a tall order, especially for an abstract thing we are commanded to do. 

Love, as something we are commanded to do, in light of a relationship is a tall order and not just something that is flighty or easily swayed. So where is affection in this? Affection has its place in our lives as we grow and develop our relationships into Eros fashion. Where is the source? It comes from God as not only as a feeling but a command as well.  Then why are relationships so awkward and we have the fear of rejection in our lives in regards to relationships and affection?? That my friends is a discussion for another day.

Well, it seems a new semester has started and by the looks of it, its gonna take me another year to graduate from college cuz of credit issues. oh well, its not like i mind being in college though.

Alot of stuff has change yet i was told a few weeks ago I hadnt changed at all, laf. In alot of ways i havent though. I still dress the same, eat the same food, practice christianity as best as i can with Gods help, and do computer stuff and play video games and concentrate on school. On the other hand, my perspectives and my reactions, convictions, and my life struggles also have changed.

Perspectives: My perspective changes alot because of knowledge. and if anything, it gets reinforced or changed in such a way that the paradigm shift allows for the growth in particular areas, not only academically but socially and spiritually as well.  Academically just because i take classes and learn so much stuff, its awesome. Socially because God blesses me in so many ways with my bible studies, friends, and sometimes lack thereof in regards to friends. I say lack thereof, not because im lacking in friends, but i lack in my aquantices category. I call that a blessing because my friends are truly my friends, just not people i say hi to every now n then. Spiritually my perspective changes, not alot in the way of my core concepts and ideals (if anything the idea of capitalism has been reinforced greatly as of late) but in how i percieve God has been fresh and invigorating in so many ways as i read and meditate on his word.

I feel pretty tired now so i wont continue on much further. if anything i’ll address the life struggles portion because thats prolly the most present thing to my mind.

Its funny because everyone is always wanting to know what God has for them and just cant wait for it all to happen and know and experience life. Some people have even heard (through word of knowledge or talking and listing to God) whats gonna happen and what they have to look forward to in life. Yet, me on the other hand, I really dont want to know. I want to life and be content with what God has for me right now and not miss anything. I dont want to miss things because I was looking too far forward and didt see the blessings that are still right in front of me. I dont want to worry and plan, etc. Been praying recently alot and i feel that overall, i am suppose to focus on faith this year though. Faith in regards to prayer and expectation. My expectation is that God will rock my world if i let Him, and i really do want that. And that really means trusting and having faith (like im suppose to focus on) that the WORD is true and that Gods promises that are made in the Bible are true and that I have nothing to worry about. Paul was ship wrecked, murdered, bitten by deadly snakes, and God had a plan for him and kept him safe through it all. In all of this, I have to not lean on my own understand just like Proverbs says, and He will make my way straight. Struggles? ya ive got school, i have my family, i have my loneliness, but I have a God that freaking pwns and will strengthen and guide me through it all.

Jesus ftw

So yeah, its interesting because it is for sure finals week but not all the realizations of the event have entered my mind. 

Ive always wanted to improve my writing and be like uber pro with blogs and do like journalistic (magazine article) type writing but I havent had the mission or purpose to divert that much energy to alot of stuff. I have though been diverting energy to learning a guitar. Learning a guitar might be a waste of time since i have no freaking clue what im doing most of the time but its pretty entertaining and sometimes really discouraging. I listen to alot of metal symphonic so i hear some freaking epic rifts and it inspires me and then when i look at a tab for a song or sit down and try and memorize a tab….. yeah i leave my guitar feeling like a loser most of the time. might help too if i could keep it in tune too. i hear there might be an issue with the bridge but i havent the time or money to take it to the local music shop and check it out. 

And then theres the random emotional sdtuff too. At times i feel really really lonely, others i feel like the luckiest dude in the world in regards to my friends. I’ve been hanging out with a dude named cory lately and hes pretty seksi when it comes down to it and its been pretty awesome. He has only been a christian for about a year and its so weird since everything ive taken for granted in christianity is like the most amazing thing in the world for him to experience. Or he’ll end up asking me questions and im like, well you know blah blah blah…. and i’ll get a blank stare and i really have to help him build foundations since you cant really reaqd the bible in 1 night and get theological depth to it. which scares me alot too because i have to make sure i dont screw him up and teach or lead him in the wrong direction or show him something thats theologicaly or spiritually wrong. 

I’ve also been finding some crazy music through pandora too. I absolutely loving the metal symphonic stuff from europe lately and its just crazy amazingness. Leaves’ Eyes, Dark Moor, Krypteria and like so many cool things. I still really want to buy Theocracy which is a christian power metal band and i want to get the documentary “FRAG” really badly >_< . Blah its lame i feel sometimes like my passions get stifled by so much stuff. I cant play crazy rifts cuz i have no background in music or practice or anything cool like that, I love gaming but i dont have hardly any time left to play games, I like video editing but it seems it will have taken me 5 years total school to take a class on it O_o , I want to build a business but who knows where that will ever end up, i like longboarding but i need new bearings and i cracked my prototype board so i have to make a new one or go to my old one, which is fine but i really loved having a 60″x10″ monster that cruised.  

blah sometimes i feel so hindered but I know God will have so much fun stuff for me to do and experience and yeah…. cuz God is amazing. I think the lonely stuff is prolly what irratates me the most sometimes because I know im blessed beyond belief and have no room for complaining.

 

and now i have to think about dinner and catching a bus later and walking up a hill in 8F snow weather…. >_< oh well…. Glory to God in the highest, its almost His birthday. pie ftw! 

So yeah, im just hanging out and studying is to little avail. My homegroup did something really cool last night though, we went around in a circle and the individuals turn had to sit and listen to everyone say how cool they are or what people notice in their personality, etc. Was pretty intense and a few people almost cried. It blessed me immensely and it was cool to see how everyone was so cool in so many faucets. 

Now for classes…. their lame but i’ll make it through. half of my classes i’ll be able to do study groups which is the best way i learn but meh, oh well. i’ll pwn it all up and take whatever hits to my gpa there is. Lifes been overall really good. g2g to class now >_< . and u should go watch the starcraft 2 trailers and then the L4D intro movie

So yeah its been a while since i last wrote. stuffs been really pretty crazy as of late. More or less ive had the most brutal semester/quarter ever and its been a struggle for me. Been taking 3 speech and hearing science classes and those have been kicking my butt like no other.

Thanksgiving was pretty good though, hungout at the old high school, sat in lockdown for a couple hours because of a bomb threat. I did make a new longboard. Laf, actually i havent written about my new activity much. I got this really skinny longboard and its been pretty fun. Me n a couple friends usually hit up a parking garage for a bit and just do that for a while. Over the break i made a longboard using some special material and i think ima be able to patent it actually. I made a prototype board thats 60″x10″x1/2″ and its pretty awesome. its gargantuan but i love it. i realy need new bearings. So yeah i did that over break and a 2nd board should be being made as i type for another student and if it works out as well as this one did, then for sure i’ll begin work on a patent for it.  Not sure i’ll ever do anything with it/for it , but its definitely something i could go for in the future or now if i wanted. 

Then i slept for 12 hours each day and did nothing…… then sunday i had a mad rush and have been mad rushing on all kinds of h/w that i put off and now im like….. totally screwed but meh, staying up all night in the union building should pay off. 

Been doin alright for the most part, but i am getting home sick and i want to be done with this semester. Next semester should be pretty pro style though so im excited for it. so yeah. 

So… cool… Thought id take a min and write about a kind of unusual feeling i rarely feel.dont know if its rare for everyone else but meh. Basically have u ever felt that lazy, tired, i feel like catching up on video gaming or back logged anime shows, even though wednesday u have a paper due, and exams thursday and friday and its only monday? Now its not really procrastination, because you know you’ll be fine, and you just want to sit back and rest and enjoy a good book by the fire with a cup of hot cocoa.

Im usually not a lazy person but theres alot of stuff i wanna watch and do but i figure i’ll just take a few hours on my monday and just enjoy myself a little bit. In this im otherwise pretty content, however a dog or cat or gerbal or female companion or best friend like josiah or paul or energy drink could overall make the moment better. but its a good time to drink in and I thank God for all that is here and all that will be.

Another thing is we dont always think when stuff is going good to praise God but when stuff sucks we cry out and then forget to say thanks. I want to take this time and say : God you rock.

Sadly i will admit, this has nothing to do with the MGS series but is something ive been thinking about.

Well i’ll be the first to say it: I LOVE AMERICA and i know we aint perfect but i wouldt live anywhere else and i’ll also admit i get really frustrated with people that live in america and say it sucks. my thought is: if you dont like it- leave.

Now this evening i went to a flogging molly concert and several times “freedom” was mentioned. The group leader sang about his dad who 5 years ago died and never felt what he was able to; freedom (whats left of the flag). he also talked about how moving to america was the greatest thing ever and that the immense freedom he felt even when his life wasnt in order and then sang black friday rule. If someone from ireland loves america and what it stands for even though we are going through a rough time economically, then why cant americans be patriotic too?

well its been a while since ive posted anything techy but i really have to applaud google today. I recently discovered what i call “google gadgets” which they call google desktop, but basically they saw what Microsoft did in vista and made it better, and made it for all OS types: http://desktop.google.com/?utm_campaign=en&utm_source=en-ha-na-us-synsearch&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=google%20sidebar

knock yourself out.

 

 

Without his knowledge Tim would have had a tougher time being a friend, spouse, and father. Its interesting to me because, I have cable for the first time in a while and nick at nite happenly was showing “Home improvement.” Most shows now days hve an expert lead role or a lead with a side kick that completes him. The mentor role by a wise person, especially someone who doesnt give the aswer right away, is one that in media trends is fading in my opinion.

Wilson can be identified by his learned expressions, quotes and mannerisms. He is also noted as always having something cover his face, eg: a fence, bush, piece of wood, coffee cup, etc. I think his character also reflects the sophistication of the writer. As a chracter, Tim Taylor was a well written average joe trying to make a living. He worked hard, loved his family, was a mans man, and blindly ignorant. Things we all can relate to and it was done in a tasteful manner. I wish we had good writers now days for prime time shows that dont require violence or sex to be entertaining.

Ya know, i dont have many of these but i had a revelation of attitude. Something in us that that can effect our attitudes. Attitudes usually involve choice, and what we choose to be. So can i now ask you whether you would like to be “not too bad” or “good” ?

urban dictionary defines “not bad” as “Fully legit. The real thing. A tasty meal is never just good, it’s not bad, or not bad at all. Can always be said as ‘ain’t bad.’”

Good is labeled as “opposite of bad”

I think we can choose to live more possitively by responding to others in a “good” fashion. By leaving the negative things that bug us behind and focusing on the bad. Not allowing the negative to run us down. We can respond to peoples greetings with a smile and say “im good, how are you today?” instead of “meh, not too bad” . Let us lead our lives with goodness and let God’s goodness truly flow through us.

So are you good or bad?